Hot, Sweaty, Dirty....Conversations (Properly Censored, Of Course)

You know what we really need? Government in our life, especially our sex life. It’s not strange enough to talk to the parents about this most personal of activities. Luckily, our tax dollars let us get the whole deal from our government (who then encourage our parents to talk to us).

It’s a good thing, too, because now we know the proper progression of intimacy.

We also learn that condoms are too unreliable and marriage is a magical force that kills STDs.

And did you know that if your kid is gay you should seek a counselor because it may be just so traumatizing?

Thankfully government is giving advice about who to date so I’m not tempted to go gay.

And while parents are encouraged to engage in open and honest communication, our government is also suggesting that parents should spy on their kids. Maybe so they can have enough information to start a conversation. (I understand you recently visited hotasiangirls.com, son. You want to talk about it?) The conversation may be easier than one thinks; the government tells us over half of all teens think teens should be abstinence. I bet they’d advocate vasectomies, too.

And parents wonder why teens rebel.

Mad Props to Mike for the heads up.